Saturday, November 10, 2012

I don't know if I will ever become a blogger. I think I'm just too private. But I'm not that private. I'm a quiet but open book. Maybe I'm just not very social. I don't like putting stuff out there for no reason. I just always feel like I'm talking to myself and I already have plenty of venues for talking to myself. Journals. Stacks of journals. 750words. My life that happens mostly in my house with my kids. I always talk to myself while I work on creative projects.

Hmm. I just felt like I should log something on here. I have completed several paintings. I made a jumpsuit for my daughter who has some sensory issues and has a hard time finding pants she can tolerate. That was fun because I used wooly nylon thread in my serger and hadn't ever done that before. I think she will actually wear it!!!! This is big, people.

I have been jonesing to sew in a bad way. I realized I haven't sewn anything substantial since my lingerie class and that was six months ago! Terrible. I seem to only be able to focus on one thing at a time and I don't know if I just like to do too many things, or if I subconsciously decide to switch gears when I get that point where I know I would get better and break through a wall if I kept going. I kind of think it's the latter. That sucks. I don't know what to do about it though. This whole time I haven't been playing violin. I was keeping up with playing about once a week, and then I got really into painting and just didn't do anything else when I had spare minutes. But I think about it ALL THE TIME. I need a new E string. I suppose that is my justification for not playing. Then I just had to sew, like right now. So I did that, and now I'm dying to find a cheap old vintage machine and learn how to fix it up.

Honestly, this feels like I'm lamenting whether to paint my fingernails, my toenails, work on my tan, or perm my hair. Stupid shit. White man problems. Really though, I wonder why I can't just stick to one thing. I want to be a pro at something before I die. I need to quit sleeping. That would really help a lot.

I scored a bunch of black knit cotton tonight! I will make awesome stuff with it. It's a lot too, so I can experiment. I need long sleeved shirts, so that will be the goal. One is normal tshirt fabric and the other is more gauzy and stretchy, but still has some body. Cool. I almost bought a vintage Singer sewing machine for $10 but it was missing the bobbin case and the foot pedal was coming apart so I passed. But I'm keeping my eye out. I also recovered the seat of a chair the other night. That was fast and fun.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night because I had a terrible dream that my girls were torn away from me and eaten by zombies. They were screaming for me and I had to decide if I should sacrifice myself to go to them and comfort them for the last seconds of their life. It seemed like I should, because how could I go on carrying the pain of hearing them scream for me and not going? I hate zombie crap. It is not my thing at all. I think I had that dream because I couldn't sleep so I stayed up looking at stupid facebook and people went to the zombie walk. I don't know.

Mahlon has been gone on a trip for 5 days and I've been rocking this thing by myself. I just have to say. Rocking it. Missing him though.

Naia and Josie are obsessed with making videos of their littlest pet shops and creating little tiny props for them. It is pretty cool. Naia also likes making speed drawing videos of what she makes on her DS art program, which is suddenly some pretty amazing stuff!

Life is good. And strange. That is all.

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